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She had never seen the cat acting like that with anyone. It was usually pretty skittish around people.She said, “I see you’ve met the cat.”“Indeed I have,” he answered.“It never cared for Mike.”Guy said, “This cat has impeccable taste when it comes to people.”“You might be right,” Selena said. “I’ll start some coffee.”Still petting the cat, Guy asked, “How are you feeling this morning?”“I expected to feel worse than I do. I’m glad you had me drink all that water,” Selena said.“Dehydration makes a hangover even worse,” he said. “We’d feel a lot better if we had a little hair of the dog that bit us.”Selena said, “You seem to know a lot about dealing with hangovers. Have them often?”“Not really. I don’t really approve of drinking all that much. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve tied on a few in my time, but I don’t make it a habit,” Guy replied.“Well, discovering that your wife has given you a gift like an STD sounds like a perfect excuse to me,” Selena said while entering the kitchen.“I’m not. Bill is a landscaper so I know he’ll have some advice. I‘ve watched him carefully manicure his lawn every Saturday for years. He is very good looking with his brown skin glistening in the sun. So good looking that I often have to grab my dildo while watching him. I wonder if he notices that I‘m having a hard time refraining from touching myself now as we talk. “Well there’s your problem right there, most of your commercial weed killers are more harmful to your lawn than the weeds.” “You mean to tell me he’s been wasting hundreds of dollars to ruin my lawn?” I asked incredulously. A small smile plays across his lips as he says, “Don’t be too upset, most people don’t realize what they’re doing. I’ll give you a little known secret. What you need to do is to pour a small amount of regular white vinegar on every patch every day. Give it a try and let me know if you like the results.”A few weeks later my lawn was already looking better than it had in years. “I couldn’t believe it was that.
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